Frequently
Asked Questions
Question:
You’re kidding, right?
Answer: No, really,
it works. If it didn't, this website would
probably qualify as the most elaborate and expensive practical
joke of
all time (not counting the last two presidential elections).
The truth
is that the diesel engine gets its name from Rudolf Diesel,
who invented
it to run on a variety of fuels, including vegetable oil. The
key to
burning vegetable oil in a modern diesel engine is pre-heating
it so
that it flows like petroleum-based fuel. Your engine produces
waste
heat, which is captured in the radiator fluid (a.k.a. “coolant”).
By
transferring this heat to the vegetable oil through a series
of heat
exchangers, you can get it to the proper temperature for burning
in a
diesel engine. To make it work, you just need to add an additional
tank, some extra fuel lines and radiator hoses, and some electric
switches to choose which fuel you use.
Q:
That sounds easy. Why is it so expensive?
A: Oh, a wise
guy, eh?!?! Well, to be perfectly honest, there are
people who have converted cars using their own parts, or bought
kits
from companies like ours and installed them on their own. However,
those people tend to have excellent tools, experience with auto
mechanics, fine motor skills, and none of them read our website,
much
less get to the FAQ page. So, trust us when we say that it’s
not quite
as simple as the basic explanation above.
Q:
OK, so maybe I should have it done by professionals. Or you
guys.
How long does it take?
A: The conversion
in a typical passenger car (unlike Rome) can be built
in a day. In most cases, if you bring it to us in the morning,
it will
be done by the evening. For larger vehicles, it may take two
days, and
for really nice, exotic specimens, we might need several days,
mostly so
we can drive it around and look cool for a change. Or use it
as a
getaway car. See our Customer Profiles page for a list of cars
and
trucks that we have successfully converted.
Q:
Once my car is converted, how do I get waste vegetable oil?
A: That’s
a good question. When we were first getting started, we hung
out on street corners with paper cups and asked people if they
had any
spare vegetable oil, but they just looked at us like we were
nuts. So
then we figured that maybe we should go to the restaurants where
they
actually use the oil, and that worked way better. Most restaurants
that
have fried food on the menu keep the used oil in the back, and
they are
happy to give it away. Just be polite, and don’t make
a mess, and make
sure to eat there once in a while if you can afford it.
Q:
I have a 2002 Ford Excursion. Can you guys make it run on vegetable
oil?
A: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…..
Q:
OK, so when I’m running my car on grease, will it get
better mileage?
A: Criminy, free fuel and you want better mileage, too? Jeez…
You
just can’t satisfy some people. Performance and efficiency
will be the
same for diesel and vegetable oil, based on our experience.
Q:
I’ve heard that burning vegetable oil will kill an engine
in no time
flat.
A: Yeah, well,
that’s nothing – listen to this! We’ve heard
that the
government shot down a UFO back in the 50s, and they’re
preserving the dead aliens out in the Nevada desert, and studying
them, and they’re
studying their spaceship, too, trying to figure out how it works…
Q:
(Abruptly) What’s your point?
A: Well, you hear
lots of things. Some of them are true and some
aren’t - like everything on FOX News, for example. Thousands
of people
around the planet have put millions of vegetable oil-powered
miles on
their diesels, and have had no engine trouble to speak of. But,
of
course, nothing is foolproof, mainly because fools are such
geniuses.
They can think of ways to screw things up that would never occur
to you
and me. I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you’re
careful, and
follow instructions, and have good karma, you won’t have
any problems
with running your diesel on vegetable oil.
Q:
Where will I find a mechanic to work on my car once it’s
converted?
A: Most mechanics
we meet are wicked intrigued by these conversions,
which is our way of saying they think it’s pretty cool.
See, we’re from
Boston, and people really do say “wicked smaht,”
instead of “really
smart,” and stuff like that. They use “wicked”
as an adjective, instead
of “very” or “exceedingly.” Isn’t
it crazy how people talk different in
different parts of the country?
Q:
Who’s asking the questions here?
A: Right, sorry.
Q:
So I can get work done by any regular mechanic?
A: Our conversion
won’t interfere with the other major systems in your
car. So, for example, you can still be charged a ridiculous
amount to
have your muffler replaced, or your brakes worked on. Many mechanics
will also be happy to overcharge you to work on your grease
system, to
boot. Whether they can fix it or not is another question.
Q:
I see. So can they fix it?
A: No.
Q:
Why not?
A: Well, it’s
sort of tricky. Let’s just say that it’s probably
a good
idea to call us if you’re having trouble with your vegetable
oil system.
For starters, we don’t charge as much per hour, and we
have more
experience. And it’s probably something we did wrong anyway,
so we’ll
figure it out more quickly than someone else will.
Q:
What music do you guys listen to when you’re working on
cars?
A: I thought you’d
never ask.
Q:
What about the cold? Don’t diesels freeze up in cold weather?
A: Like snot,
your vegetable oil fuel will freeze in cold weather.
Unlike your nose, however, the system we install has a feature
that
allows you to push diesel fuel back through the lines that have
the
vegetable oil in them, guaranteeing that your car will still
start up
and run on the coldest of days.
Q:
What happens if I’m out in the middle of nowhere, and
I run out of
grease?
A: We don’t
call these cars “The Poor Man’s Prius” for
nothing! It’s a
diesel/vegetable oil HYBRID. With the two tanks, you’re
always able to
run on diesel, no matter what. Now, mind you, if you’re
out in the
middle of nowhere, and you run out of both, and there’s
a full moon, and
your passenger starts to sprout coarse hair and really big teeth,
then
you have much bigger things to worry about than where your next
tank of
grease comes from.
Q:
You seem very intelligent and incredibly sexy. Why doesn’t
everyone
get a diesel car converted by greengreasemonkey.com?
A: I don’t
know.
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your car on waste vegetable oil is beneficial for many reasons:
1.
It's Sustainable:
Vegetable oil is plant-based, which means the fuel you'll
burn is derived from plants, not fossil fuel deposits.
2.
It's Cleaner:
Waste vegetable oil emits far fewer greenhouse gases and
carcinogens than petroleum-based diesel.
3.
It's Not Oil:
The U.S. economy's heavy reliance on oil from other countries
has led to disastrous foreign policy decisions by our government.
Get the U.S. out of the Middle East - burn vegetable oil
for fuel
4.
It's FREE:
Most restaurant owners would rather have you take their
grease away than pay someone else to dispose of it. With
proper filtration, you will have an abundant supply of free
fuel for your vehicle at your local pizza parlor, Chinese
food restaurant, bar and grill, or donut shop.
Sounds
too good to be true? Give us a call. We'd be happy to come
and demonstrate how the technology works.
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